The 8th Task of Asterix

A week or so ago I was sent a link which perfectly accurately describes dealing with any kind of bureaucracy here in Ghana.  In the ‘Les Douze travaus d’Astérix’ (The Twelve Tasks of Asterix), Asterix and Obelix are set twelve arduous deeds.  While some of them sound more fun, such as running, javelin throwing, crossing a lake and eating, number 8 is by far the worst: ‘Find permit A38 in ‘The place that sends you mad’.  As all good information comes from Wikipedia – which describes this place as ‘a mind-numbing multi-storey building founded on bureaucracy and staffed by clinically unhelpful people who direct all their clients to other similarly unhelpful people elsewhere’.  If you are better than French than me, or like me don’t mind watching cartoons where you don’t understand what is being said, there is a great little clip from the movie here.

Apart from the multi-storey aspect, this is a pretty everyday reality of dealing with the realm of officialdom in Ghana.  After being in the country 60 days you need to either leave or get an extension – for me my time is up on 9 April, so cue a trip to Immigration to bargain with my passport and cash to be able to stay in Ghana.

Step 1 – Get someone to give you an official looking letter, original signed copies only.  Headed paper goes down especially well.  Check thoroughly for the smallest of mistakes as these will be thrown out immediately.  

Step 2 – Make friends with as many people as possible at the Immigration office.  They will probably only be friendly because they think you will give them dash, but it is totally worth it to have someone to tell you exactly what to do.  Learn some names, crack a few jokes and try you Twi out – if you get a smile in return you’re winning.

Step 3 – Since January, Ghana has introduced a mandatory ‘Non-Citizen ID Card’ for all foreign nationals staying for a period of more than 90 days in Ghana.  Without this card, pretty much everything else is impossible.  So every year that’s $120 for a piece of plastic bearing my grinning mug and date of birth.  To make the experience better, the interviewer asked me out on a date and the data entry guy did the classic ‘sex – yes’ joke.

Step 4 – Fill out all of the same information again, on a different form, and hand it over to your new friend, again with another mug shot and more cash.  Your new friend will then ask more lunch/dinner/water etc. money.  Depending on how soon you want your passport back pretty much depends on how much to give.  When I needed in back in 2 days, I think I probably fed him and his family for a week.

Step 5 – Pray you get your passport back, and in the meantime don’t need it for anything.  I am at this stage, so if you have any spare room in your prayers please think of my little passport floating around somewhere in the world of red tape.  Here’s to hoping it will be out in a month!